Editor’s Note: This article talks about suicide and may not be appropriate for all audiences.
We are living amidst an epidemic of loneliness. Phones and modern technology have us falsely believing that we are more connected than ever, but as a society, we’ve slipped further away from genuine connections and true friendships and replaced it with surface level, ‘picture perfect’ and desperately shallow interactions.
According to the U.S. Surgeon General, loneliness has health risks as deadly as smoking a dozen cigarettes a day. Further, loneliness increases the risk of premature death by nearly 30 percent, and about half of American adults have reported feelings of loneliness.
But why now? Why are we talking about loneliness in this issue of Mount Pleasant Magazine? Because September is National Suicide Prevention Month, and it’s a month that means more to me than I wish it did.
You see, when I was 17, I became a suicide survivor. To share my story, I’ve included an excerpt from an article I wrote for CharlestonMoms.com:
‘The month of my 18th birthday, my dad went missing. His phone went straight to voicemail even though we called repeatedly. Daily. His truck wasn’t parked at his house. His neighbors hadn’t seen or heard from him in weeks. He had seemingly disappeared.
After my parents’ divorce, my sister and I saw our dad as often as we could and did our best to call and check in between our busy school work and extracurricular sports and activities. But we failed to truly see his loneliness, his isolation, his addiction and ultimately, his depression.
My dad had a girlfriend at the time and would frequently go on trips and cruises where he would be unreachable. The first week or two of 2007 didn’t seem too unusual. We had spent a wonderful Christmas with our dad, and I can vividly remember telling my mom, “He seemed better than ever.” But after three weeks, a sinking feeling set in as everyone exhausted all resources trying to find him. And then one day, it happened.
I walked in from high school and my mom said, “Sweetie, I just got off the phone with Aunt Paris. They’ve found your dad.” That was it. Those two sentences changed everything. In a moment, I knew my dad was gone, and I knew suicide was his cause of death.
In the weeks that followed, we found letters addressed to me and my sister. We found evidence of a level of unhappiness he hid so well. We found an addiction coupled with a mental health disease that had ultimately taken over and taken my dad from me.
If you or someone you know is battling mental health issues or addiction, you are not alone. I see you. I pray for you. I pray for a world where the stigma is erased. I pray for the healing of all mental diseases.
This year marks 17 years for me as a suicide survivor. Seventeen years of learning and growing. Seventeen years of wishing my dad was here. And I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, but I can honestly say, it’s shaped me into a stronger woman. A stronger mom. A more caring friend. My eyes are open to the disease that is more prevalent than you may know. And if you’ve read this article, I hope you find that yours are too.’
Mental health has a stigma of shame, fear and judgment and our culture of loneliness has drastically amplified these feelings. Victims feel like no one could possibly understand what they’re going through or even that the people around them would somehow be better off without them. Loneliness has lied to us. Loneliness has kept us from being vulnerable and silenced us from seeking solitude. But I want you to know, you are not alone. One out of two people have reported loneliness to some degree in their lives.
As I mentioned, I’ve spent many hours seeking professional mental help. And I can honestly say it has improved my quality of life. If you are in a season of loneliness, I’d urge you to follow in my footsteps and seek counseling.
If you prefer an anonymous resource from the comfort of your own home, The National Suicide Hotline is free and available for you to call, text and chat. This 24/7 hotline is confidential and all you need to do is dial 988. Their website is also full of free resources: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call. Text. Chat. (988lifeline.org).
As we reflect on National Suicide Prevention Month and confront the widespread epidemic of loneliness in our society, let us remember the power we hold as individuals to make a difference. Reach out to a friend or family member today, check in on their well-being and remind them they are not alone. Let’s normalize conversations about mental health and seek help when we need it, without shame or hesitation. Together, we can create a community where support and understanding flourish.
Disclaimer: I am not a licensed counselor or mental health professional. I’m simply another human who feels compelled to share my story in hopes of helping someone else feel less alone in theirs.
By Katie Finch
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